Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t friends?
“Thank you”, “Hello”, “Give me… please” and some other phrases and words are among a few terms that foreigners just in Korea learn and one of them is oftentimes the phrase chingu , translated loosely as “friend”. Foreigners splice this term in their sentences that are english hesitation and employ it seemingly without understanding what it really means. This is certainly probably certainly one of my minimum favorite terms in Korean and I’ll explain why.
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Some years back, I became using Korean lessons four times per week for four hours every day. I became devouring just as much when I could associated with the language because I was dating a Korean man, nearly all of my buddies were Korean and undoubtedly I happened to be located in Korea and I also wished to make life just a little easier. Before using the classes, I happened to be hesitant and weary of the things I regarded as forced respect within the guidelines for the language, elements of the language that force us to show a respect that I might n’t have for somebody. Simply because folks are older doesn’t suggest they always deserve respect and also at that point I’d held it’s place in enough situations to know that a number of, frequently, men simply assumed in numerous ways that I should be respectful of them even though they disrespected me. Through the classes, I discovered how exactly to show my disapproval whenever being disrespected without being downright rude and I learned just how to be much more assertive in Korean. One of the greatest lessons we learned, nevertheless, had been that We have nearly no “friends” in Korea. (From here on out “friend” in parenthesis would be the Korean kind of friend while a friend that is freestanding function as English version.)
My better half, boyfriend at that time, and I also made a decision to have a meet up at our home and invited our close Korean friends. There were about 10 of us across the dining table and I also was the only foreigner in the area. As of this point, I’d known my boyfriend and all sorts of of their friends for a great 4 or 5 years plus in my indigenous tongue, we would call them my buddies. Following the food was finished and also the plates found, I was thinking a game will be enjoyable. Taking what I’d learned from class on how best to phone someone by title, I said, “So-yung-a, do you wish to play a casino game?” utilising the reduced as a type of the language. I experienced been confidence that is gaining the language and utilizing it whenever i really could. There is a gasp that is audible after a matter of seconds of silence, So-yung said, “yes,” but two for the more aggressively conservative people in the team explained i really couldn’t say “So-yung-a” to So-yung.
Friend 1: So-yung is avove the age of you will be.
Buddy 2: You can’t say “So-yung-a” because you’re younger than she actually is.
Me: We’re friends though.
Buddy 1: No, you’re not friends with So-yung.
Me: What do you realy mean? I’ve known her for decades. We have her telephone number in my own phone. I see her a whole lot. Our company is buddies and my guide says this is certainly benaughty.com sign in an appropriate ending for a friend.
Friend 2: No, you can’t be buddies than you are because she is older.
Me: I don’t know very well what you’re saying.
Buddy 1: you can easily simply be buddies with somebody that’s the age that is same yourself.
Me personally: Well, that doesn’t make any feeling. You may be all my friends and you are clearly all over the age of i will be.
Friend 1: We aren’t friends and family.
After because I was just told I had no friends and also because the language they were using to express their viewpoint was very aggressive and I don’t handle aggressive situations very well that I went to my room for a little cry mostly. Coming from a teaching viewpoint, aggressively attacking a student for making use of a word or a term inappropriately hardly ever makes the pupil respond in a positive means. Frequently, the learning student will end up more fearful to make use of the language or you will need to make use of terms later on unless they’re completely clear on their meaning. In addition reminded my “friends” later that I don’t attack them if they misuse a word, if it is exceedingly rude, I remind myself so it’s not their very first language and I also you will need to assist them to realize why it can be taken the wrong method. My “friends” however, were not so patient with my language purchase. Though I experienced excitingly go through my lesson publications and experienced talks within my course, I experienced taken several things and words in the guide for issued perhaps not realizing they didn’t mean exactly what it showed up they intended. Two associated with more tolerant users of our team arrived in to sooth me personally and explain in nicer terms what everyone had gotten so upset about.
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